Rewind.

It's easy to live with yours eyes closed.
You know some people say "sleep is the cousin of death"
Well you know what I mean.
Yee im nicely chilled out like..ya man.
But despite the troubles we all have and shit that is just with us all the time like poverty, death, con artists, and techno, I fucki'n love this life or tho' alot of the time it's responsibility and like an endless quest to reach somesort of goal you dont quite know is possible, it's shit aint it? but you know what they say gettin there is half the fun.
It's great to look back and remember funny stuff like me and Anrijs stealing a fuckin turtle :D ps. it's still alive. (Džārlijs.) Sray painting toy shit xD (DeeP) (Do$) lol. Walks with my sister through the neighbourhood just chati'n away, ya man. Getti'n stoned with Dan at "The Blues" lazy days motherfucker! ;P
Chillin around in Sam's car etc. Spiritual evenings at Culum's gettin high and drung listening to 80's rock and Jack Johnson. fuckin good days and Last summer. yee. :) And I know there will be more times like this to come.
Because I don't want to live in yesterday! I dont give a fuck what tomorw will bring because than I couldnt enjoy where im at now, we need to stop worrying about future staying stuck in past, forgive, let go, move on don't take shit too seriously please love yourself and its gonna be easier for others to love you for who you are as a person.
this life itself is my reason to breathe man, see what im sayin?
   
      But from the other side if you are someone else

Let me tell you a story about Alex a drug adict hooked on crack he will do anything to just get some more he'll steel anything you leave behind and take it if you didnt because without his buzz he's a nervous wreck, and whenever someone gives him a reality he wont admit his life is fucked. and he has nowhere to go coZ his family hates him so when he gets his fix his worries all get washed away. I'd say he's too far gone to ever be saved, he's dead and buried.

      What about Stan?
A mate convicted 15-20 years in prison on good behaviour 11 all he has seen in his life was violence and drugs had stabbed 2 people one recovered and after him. only reason he is in prison coZ he thought he was doing it coZ it's right. When he tried to kill that person. ok but now lets wait what would you do if you found out your sister was beaten into submission in her house her kitchen and raped by her ex boyfriend while hes telling her shut the fuck up? I know what Id do I fuckin Chop his balls off and cut his dick in half, just leave him for dead. and than later you find out it was all for nothing coz your dumb bitch of a sister has gotten back with him again and now you are serving 20 years for attempted murder.

    But STOP!
Rewind: Stan walks backwards out of his cell back in the police car the hancuffs pop off backwards by the police mans hands and the car drives off backwards and Stan walks into the house backwards you sisters ex screaming Shoot, Don't, please and he puts the gun back in his side pocket and walks upstairs backwards the blunt he smoked got bigger and bigger till in turned back to a full blunt. His sisters EX helps her up and her tears go up back in her eyes as her exes screams get quieter as he walks back out of the House and in his car.

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Now you are the writer afterall it was you concious decision to choose that path that got you there where you are today you! there can be influence and bad family but YOU made the final decision NOONE can ALTER. IO hope you captured my point.
It's  a blank.

Posters

"Whisper is louder than the shout"
You just wait.

Smile for me, please.

Shit dont make sense, secrets cold killas in the street,

desensitized fuckers. People and families falling apart,

losing purpose of life in general. children seeing shit too

early violence etc. Grow up fucked up, if Lucky they might

get saved by music or the opposite. why man? why? wtf?
I see crack head mothers razing their babies in shit holes,
fools smoking weed in a house with small kids in it.
I cant see what im writing because im crying...
What chance do we stand? As I witness this they dont understand wy am I crying... It's because of all the evil, too much evil,grief unnecessary pain. We are watchin our own end like we dont believe in god! What is it we all fear? So im sayin I dont need this! Fuck this! But I shall remember you! 15 years old and pregnant girls walk among us, is that normal? wtf Trade places what would you do if it was you? chased by three guys and raped. And I have nothing to say. Why is it like this? Reflections in the mirror I see myself and ask who do you believe in? But again there always will be times in life
when it's gonna be hard to smile, but where ever you go, through all the pain you have to keep your sense of humor.
Cmo'n I have got to smile for myself now and stop the tears,
I dont even remember what I wrote... Just remember me and these words
when you are in some shit, but I still remain hopeful for today, I must.
I see now.
08/10/2010
M.Kupruks.  Written in a bus stop 01:16

Answer's to my own question's

Lately my life has been a mess, cant seem to understand where am I heading,

kind'a messed up inside, lots of thought's have been rushing through a torrent

of appreciation, appreciation of life. But still my life is a snapped necklace,

you can always fix it, but always a beed will be missing, so you can lose it all

if you keep snapping it. Kid'a like a persons life. I try to do what is right,

but I dont see anything in return. But maybe we dont need anything in return,

that makes it selfish, it cant be good if you are doing it for your self, especially if you have to take something from someone else.

but I believe I now what I have been missing. It's a "someone", alot of people in relationships complain about each others actions and little problems in each other, but the most ridicilous thing is that none of those jerks realise how lucky they are! Because at the end there is nothing that sucks more than feeling all alone nomather how many people are around.

06/10/2010

M.Kupruks.

Where is my mind?

I feel permanently fucked.
Feel pressure in my chest towards the heart...I am fucki'n dying.
But hey I brought this up on myself.
I probably will just stroke out or something...
But im glad of the time thats been given to me.
Or maybe it's something else and i am not dying?
Whatever gives me something to fear and realise my life at last,
 understand what have I done wrong, but it's just bullshit, who gives a fuck.
Coz now that I think about it I dont regret shit! I had a great run and it was fun! Ha ha yee! Seen good times seen bad ones, seen others have good and bad ones, and always fuckin sail through like true pirates, by the way it's Dans birthday today foo! yee, fuck it im off to Harrogate now and have a good time on his 18th birthday and try not to stroke out and shit! xD Enjoy your life Motherfucker's!! And dont forget to
BUST A MOVE...xD
"And you know this man!" (Smokey)
"You got knocked the fuck out maaan!!!"(Smokey)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-NS1XIjllc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mc-cyeZQGk&feature=related

My gift to you

Today is a gift
Dont take it too swift
My life is divine
I feel the tingling down my spine
But I know tomorrows gonna be just fine

Or tho sometimes I feel myself dying
Deep inside crying
Had a thought to stop smoking
All this toking on weed
The devil has planted his evil seed
Cant seem to breathe
I start to bleed inside
But apart from that my life is sublime
It's been a while since I committed a crime
But it's too late I have lost my mind
Like the guys from "Last of the summer vine"

Today is a gift
Dont take it too swift
My life is divine
I feel the tingling down my spine
But I feel tomorrows gonna be just fine

What is left in this world for me?
I feel like going on a killing spree
Chop down every single tree for the hell of it
But wait a minute!
I hear a voice inside my head
I can tell you how your life should be lead
Follow the path of God
Dont listen to "Lench Mob"
And sometimes you shall get lost
But never fear, You will get across
The river of existence for instance
Once it's done if you dont show resistance
You will see in distance
Safe hands returning you to
the real safe lands

Today is a gift
Dont take it too swift
My life is divine
I feel the tingling down my spine
But I feel tomorrows gonna be just fine

Māris Kupruks

       My Gift To You

Insane, hell the repetition

It's raining, raining heavily the ink is flooding on the page...

sitting on the bench in Ainderby steeple.

Some of you may understand this, some may not. Read slowly.

Felling, feeling of not understanding... looking but not seeing, living, but not really.

Feels like I have done this before but no like Dejavuu...different, kind'a evil.

Look and something see the coulour, but it's dead. Am I insane?

Rooms seem framed (Frame Vision/Choppy Vision) Feeling of emptiness's and no purpose.

Shooting thoughts, cant escape, cant live, cant feel. only fear of something possibly the

emptiness. Who is Maris? Sometimes rarely, but this happens when you just have to fight for your mind, keep your sanity. Is this world real? Or is our life just a mistake, freakness of nature YOU DONT EXIST!

Or maybe I DONT EXIST maybe it's just you and im telling you that you are alone everything you see, feel, do is just and illusion you are just something that shouldnt be in darkness and no purpose crated this illusion to survive because you CANT DIE, hell. Repetition of things you cant escape! Because there is noplace to go. Suddenly find yourself doing the same things accidentally, maybe trippin schisofrenia. But how could that be real if NOTHING exists? (Just a thought) It's thundering now...but there must be something out there some people that will understand what im talking about there is the best in the worst of us and the worst in the best of us and were perfect in the middle. this world is the best in the worst or maybe again this dosent exist, is there any certainty in anything? what's the point of analysing if it's all created by you?

Who can save you? if im not real or who can save me if im not real? NOONE because there is NOTHING, EMPTYNESS, LONELYNESS and ETERNAL LIFE OF LIES and SUFFERING in you own little twisten, sick hell you created and posibally deserve. A prissoner in a fake world.

But better no think about that.

Māris Kupruks...if that is me.

13/09/2010

Just a theory of mine.

Circumstance (Gangs-LV) pt 2

You are born, grow up let's say you're 13, you live in tha hood.
You must be hard, act insensitive, stay protective and always alert for danger.
Because of the hood there will be drugs, gangs and violence.
So since you were born you have no chance because you cant escape tha gangs and tha dope plus beatin the shit out of each other...You show a weakness and you will be beaten by everyone else in tha hood,
if you live there you must represent it even if you don't want to.
You get older and start committing crimes, all kinds. You're gonna say Fuck school!
 Because you are actually in love with the streets you grew up in. You actually become hostile, alert and insensitive, you don't have to try anymore. The duty is to protect your streets and mark the teritory by graffiti.
If someone from another hood is in yours...big trouble.
No one gives a fuck about another dickhead just for your gang broth'a.
A former friend of mine was always straped, ended up caping this guy he always was the neighbourhood terror, but he was our pride, now doing 25 to life. Now the only question left is I wonder maybe if the hood didnt take us under? Nomather what protect you flag and that's what he did and im proud, but I always wonder was it worth it? Lucky for me I escaped the hood life few years ago. I was mesmerised ask anyone who knows me.
Respect out there to my bro'thas. This text is just a reality check of a gang mentality.
I must repeat, maybe if the hood didn't take us under?

M.Kupruks
07/09/2010

Time

    60's after war, in my opinion was a time of recovery, at last replacing the

dull brown, gray and black with red, green and yellow throw colours everywhere.

Starting a new world! Mini skirts, bubble cars and drugs xD...

war came upon us...All the hard work just destroyed.

Cities like London, Cardiff, Manchester, Sheffield flattened to ground by bombs.

    70's 80's revolution, hippies appear, all against war and system only people brave enough to say democracy doesn't work for shit. They tried to keep the world from craving money and will to own. You cant own anything!

Especially land. Than America starts a massive war, twin towers

have fallen, hitting America where it hurts most.

  Are we the 21'century generation in the time of war? or recovery? Has there ever in the time of human kind been a time of peace on the world?

Looking back did first world war do anything good for this world or anyone? No, well maybe a few people and still only for a short period of time.

Same with the second world war. So really just for one persons short term pleasure hundred's of thousand's men and woman died.

Are we all so selfish and dumb? No, so why people like that rule upon us? Why do we listen? Patriotism? Will to protect your fatherland, the pride?

Where did all the good people go? It's true we need, WE MUST protect our country, our homeland nomather where you are from and who you are, but only for the right reasons! We have given what we have to give to get our damn dollar bill,and noone has the right to take it of you! Remember you are the decision maker you are this world, but

only together we can be the future.

Māris K.

5/09/2010

Why To Pretend?

Always when two people are building a relationship under

certain pressure they keep them selves in distance or tho it's

plain to see for everyone else around them what's going on.

So you actually aren't hiding anything from anyone.

The weirdest thing is the female involved thinks she is doing it 

for the better deed, but actually she is just causing pain to the 

other person, causing him to be almost depressed and 100%

reserved, it's impossible for him to relax. It's similar to the other

side, accept as I said she believes that's all in the name of something

greater, to prevent the pain of others.

This is not about me! But a recently good friend. I hate to see any

of my friends in a state like that. I gave him some advice, told him

to step up and end the pain of his and hers by a simple action,

so he did. But it was hard to convince him cause he has started to

believe that this relationship is impossible for some unknown reason to him.

But if he says to me that he cant live without her, he cant go a day without

seeing her and just cant stop thinking about her, I believe you have answered

your own question. Now the whole point of me telling you this is...

Sometimes there is no point to protect others from the inevitable 

and if you choose to do so, why? 

To destroy yourself and let the effects of that decision reflect upon

the rest of your life like me? I did it and I think it helped me to grow

as a person. But if you choose to do so you are a fool!

There always is light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I will put out a cigarette on this page, and please think about this 

a minute or two.

Māris. K.

03/09/2010

The Word Drug.

The word drug, what is a drug?
What is a drug that causes addiction and I dont mean
weed, coke and alcohol, but things like music, family and art.
we all have these addictions. Is that a sickness of human kind?
Or is it a human instinct to fill in the emptyness around you?
Many people smoke because they are boted and do so more if depressed,
possibally to fill in this emptyness. For the last four years I listen to music whilst out
of the hause, is that an addiction or a hobby? And then where is the border between a
hobby and addiction? Is our life really just a quest to make ourselves feel better?
Always resorting to materialism...and when it comes down between chooseing between tose addictions
classic example would be alcohol or family? choice between the love of you family and a material thing that stops the pain, atlest for a while. We all know you cant have both, but it's you, you have the choice!
You are NOT just a mindless, selfpleasing fuck!!! You have the choice between you family and
some material bullshit! If you dont want it yourself do it for your kids or wife You with whatever addiction you have affect everyone around you even music and your friends others may not like...
Like the Guru said "Can we be the soul controllers of our faith? If not, who's gonna take the weight?"
So you have the choice between ruineing your life slowly and taking your loved ones under with you in a slow fucked up process, or be a caring person for your self and others around you and make the right choice.
We all know the right choice, but maybe we just need to be told by someone who has nothing to do with your life. So do that or remain helplesly in love with the heartless for the rest of your life.


The message of this is basically dont piss of your neighbour with loud music and sometimes just STOP!
And ask youself...What the fuck am I doing?

Everything you do is an somesort of addiction in a higher or lower level.



Māris K...23/08/2010

Metra Etele!

We did it you two so we will start writing soon.
So just chill.
Love you all foo :D
:)

:)